Well there are 7 guys left so it’s time to go to Amsterdam! Next week is hometowns which is crazy because it’s hard to even know which guys are left. But here’s a reminder:
Luke P, he stinks and found Jesus in a shower
Garrett, he doesn’t like Luke P
Jed, he plays guitar and wants a music career
Connor, left love notes when Hannah is sick
Tyler, does construction and likes to dance
Mike, loves his grandma
So those are the guys!
Jed gets the first one-on-one and they get to wander around the city. They “run into” an adorable little couple in a square who only knew each other for 10 days before getting married. Still more legit of a relationship than any of the ones from this show. Awww.
Hannah’s tongue is tied when it comes to describing her relationship with Jed, she’s definitely into him.
Tyler gets the next on-one-one date, Connor is concerned because his one-on-one was ages ago. But it doesn’t seem that long to us because we had to relive the entire season in the horrible recap episode.
Hannah confesses to Jed that when he was clicking his heels in the square that she knew that she was falling in love with him. Jed feels the same way and gets that rose.
Tyler’s date involves riding horses around a square. And boy, are Hannah and Tyler bad at riding horses. It is also unclear if you actually can ride horses around this random market or if they are just doing it. They also eat some pickled herring and it’s gross. Hannah really wants Tyler to be open but she literally wants a very specific moment of when he is thinking certain thoughts, which is hard to articulate normally but even more so on tv. So Tyler tries during the dinner portion and explains how they used to have money but then didn’t have money so his parents got divorced. Hannah is happy with that level of opening up so he gets that rose.
There are now 5 guys left and only 2 roses. Mike gets the next date! So Connor, Garret, Luke, and Peter have the group date. Connor is upset because his date was so long ago so he decides to go talk to Hannah about it. He tells her that when they had their date 8 years ago that he felt like he was falling in love. Hannah just doesn’t think she can see it with Connor, probably because this is the most they’ve spoken in like 4 weeks. So he’s going on home, byeeeeee.
Mike and Hannah get to bike around and then go to an art gallery where they draw portraits of each other. And then a random lady draws them while they wear togas made out of weird fabric…? Okay. But it gets weirder, the second part of the date starts with Hannah looking at some famous paintings and crying…
It’s because she’s going to break up with Mike. NOOOOOOOOO. Mike is wonderful and amazing. And is looking for the fourth lady in his life and Hannah knows she isn’t the fourth lady. š¦
The group date is Peter, Garrett, and Luke. So I don’t think Garrett is a good match, but I hate Luke, so Luke better go home. Luke grabs Hannah first and immediately starts talking about the other guys. Luke is horrible and Hannah wants to know why everyone is so mean to him, maybe because Luke is so horrible.
Hannah asks Garrett why he was so mean and Garrett responds that he was just having a conversation with Luke. It’s ridiculous. Luke sucks, everyone knows, even Hannah, but she’s in denial.
Garrett decides to confront Luke and has some real zingers. Including double pointing with his fingers. Calling Luke a weasel. Luke then stands up and yells at Garrett and throws some bologna in his lap. It’s ridiculous.
Peter is a calm pilot in this bologna storm. And he gets the rose because he’s magical and great. Which means we have Garrett, Luke, and one rose left. Oh goodness. So here’s the thing, we know that Hannah screams at Luke for being judgmental about sex. We know that she is wearing a jacket and jeans when this happens…she is not wearing those items now. So this means we need to prepare for the worst. Luke is getting this rose. UGHhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Luke starts by sharing that he used to chase sex and then tellsĀ theĀ story, the one in the shower, where he saw heaven. And yup, he’s a new man now. I have no idea what she could possibly see in him, he’s awful.
Garrett knows that his ass is on the line so he says “I love you.” Oh Garrett, she is blinded by the evil shower Luke, this won’t save you.
Hannah picks with her heart, and goes with Luke. Hannah’s heart is real dumb. Sighhhhhhhhh. Well this cannot possibly go well so we’ll just have to tune in for Hometowns to find out!
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