Meeting the parents for your true love should be a truly special moment…meeting the over protective parents of one of your 4 true loves….not so much.
So let’s see how this goes!
Amanda is up first- okay, she’s worn this shirt before because I remember thinking it’s not a real shirt, it’s just a piece of black fabric. Amanda’s children loved to be chased. Ben meets Amanda’s children, they are cute, I’ll give you that. They are wearing some intense gladiator sandals, I want a pair.
The question, is “Ben ready to be an instant dad?” But somehow we can’t tell after talking to him for 2 minutes.
Ben had lots of fun with the streamers, they did look fun. And that’s like the end of the date, I guess we have 3 more to do so let’s move along!
Lauren B is next and I guess no one told her that her opening shot included half of her bra. Come on producers, you can do better. Lauren B is in love with Ben, but hasn’t told him. Also I’m going to stop saying the B in Lauren B, she is the head Lauren in charge and the only one left.
OMG they eat some sort of bread filled with cheese and butter and egg and I WANT IT
Lauren whips out her trump card and takes Ben to a whiskey library. She also lets her know, she could sit silently in a room with Ben and be super happy…honey, you can have higher goals in life, at least aim for some boring small talk.
Ben meets Lauren’s family which includes an 18 year old dog named Tessa. Molly is skeptical and also really good at naming all of Lauren’s qualities, pointing out that Lauren could get any man if she wanted. Ben responds with he can’t describe Lauren and cries, which makes Molly cries, and obviously wins her over. #brilliantmove
Now we have to count the amount of times Ben says “when I get down on one knee it’s real”- how many hostile parents and siblings get to hear this?
Awwww Lauren’s dad doesn’t want his baby LoLo hurt. LoLo and JoJo in the same season! LoLo decides to not tell Ben she loves him…risky move
Time for Caila’s hometown in Ohio, but we all know Caila isn’t a real person because she doesn’t have a real hometown
Caila used to creepily watch couples on a random ass bench and then make Ben sit with her on it. I mean, it’s a fine bench, but nothing special
Caila’s dad is a CEO of a toy company and they make a house together…by coloring it? Oh wait, they get to build one too. I hope it’s not an Ikea house because this show isn’t long enough for that
Side note- I feel like everyone slacked on their outfits. Amanda in her black piece of fabric, Lauren wore a flannel shirt around her waist, and Caila is in some weird hi-lo turtleneck sweater.
Ben gets to eat some kick ass food made by Caila’s mom. We get more concerned family members, everyone’s family is like super rational and the correct amount of skeptical- it just gets old when you have to watch the same thing 4 different times.
Caila’s mom says to just freaking go for it and tell Ben she loves him…but she chokes
JoJo’s turn! She got the bad outfit memo.
JoJo got a letter…FROM CHAD. Who the hell is Chad you ask? JoJo’s ex, duhhhh. She calls Chad because why not. Let’s make sure we perfectly time knocking on the door while JoJo is crying. JoJo has to clarify that her ex is in the past. So I guess that’s part one of their date, which sucks, because now it’s time to meet JoJo’s family. Which we know won’t go well because of all the trailers we’ve been hit on the head with
JoJo’s brothers wait 0 seconds before being extremely obnoxious. Let’s have some dramatic music while both of them stare at Ben.
All the moms in this episode giving great advice. Nice job moms
Ben says words to JoJo’s dad, they’re just words. Then JoJo’s brothers tell her to be more guarded. One of them calls Ben out for brainwashing JoJo and the girls. I think they said “as a brother” about five million times. The brothers don’t understand how JoJo can love Ben after only two dates, but they sure can hate Ben after 2 minutes
Rose Ceremony timeeeeeeeee
So it’s short dress day, why not?
Music stops just in time so we can hear Ben breathing very heavily while walking into the room
Roses: Lauren, then Caila, then JoJo
So goodbye to Amanda. Ben walks her out to a bench, not the same bench that he sat on with Caila
Amanda is very composed and handles herself very well, I would be down for Amanda as the next bachelorette
Ben starts to cry, aww, poor Ben
And errbody is getting it on
And then Ben goes hella rouge and tells two different girls he loves them!!