Are you the one s3 e3: All the side boob

So last time non of the matches were matches, which isn’t surprising. It also means that everyone lost money. And multiple couples that are already “in love” aren’t in love with their one true love.

Rashida is super upset…about losing the money.

I have no idea how Hannah’s dress is staying on, so much side boob.

Devin and Kiki are still going at it, but Devin is vindicated because now everyone else is supposed to break up with their partners now too.

The challenge involves putting tires on poles, you put the tire on the pole of the girl you want to go on a date with. Except when it gets to the end and guys just want to go on a date period and throw their tire on any random pole. I wonder why no one has found their true love yet…

So it’s Zach with Kiki

Mike with Britni

and Chuck and Amanda

So three random-ass pairings, but then again when they pay attention to their feelings the pairings are all wrong, so why not go on luck?

Kiki is talking to Chuck, but Hannah likes Chuck, but Hannah is 100% not matched up with Chuck. So she needs to move on. Hannah can’t possibly trust Kiki anymore…because Kiki is trying to follow the point of the show

Austin is angry that no one is trying to actually figure out who their real match is

Kiki and that dude’s date is horribly awkward

I now think Austin and Britni are a match based on their annoyance at all the other stupid people

Zak and Kiki go in, and Michelle has an actual point of that they will know all the people Kiki isn’t matched with pretty soon. They are not a match

Connor and Cheslea are vibing…based on the fact Connor used to do drugs and Chelsea worked in a rehab center

Alec and Stacey are trying it again. And that really just means Stacey is trying really really hard

Mike and Amanda decide they don’t really care about light beams so they have sex even though they are not a match

Light timeeeeeeeeeee

Chelsea and Connor- recreating the first match ceremony

Kiki and Chuck. Kiki has lots of side boob

Amanda has a throwndown with the host Ryan. Who tells her it’s stupid to keep hooking up with Mike.  Quote that happened: “hooking up in the Boom Boom room.” Host Ryan tells everyone he’s on their side.  She eventually picks Austin

Rashida chooses Devin, even though Devin sucks

Cheyenne and Tyler

Melanie Nelson

Hannah Zac

Kayla Mike

Stacey Alec- another repeat couple from first round

Britni and Hunter. Britni points out that they are only in week 3 and how can their hearts be hurt. Woah, Britni is self aware.

They get 3 perfect matches.

Well there we go, not a total failure…until next time because you never know

Are you the one s3 e3: All the side boob

Are you the one S3 E2: No one is the one, no ones at all

Last time

We met the singles looking for love, most of them anyway.  There was drama as Alec made out with a lot of people. We learned Kiki and that country guy aren’t a match.  And somehow they managed to make 2 correct matches.

This time!

 I would hope someone writes down the matches they guessed so they could know, but I feel like that won’t be happening.

A girl is wearing American flag pants, and a guy asks her how many stars are on the American flag…she doesn’t know. So I don’t feel bad not knowing their names.

The game of the week is Holy Sh*t I can’t believe they said that

quotes include

“I love One Direction”

“I’ve masturbated on an airplane”

“I put makeup on a scar I don’t like”

Mel picks Tyler for the date. Stacey picks Hunter. Kiki picks Devin.

Chuck really likes Hannah, he points out that they look like they could be related, which is always a good reason for liking someone. Hannah starts to cry because it’s really hard being really really pretty.

Mike is the filet mignon of stripping.

Rashida and Tyler connect, good thing Tyler is now on a date with Mel, Mel obviously could not tell if her true love was standing in front of her.

Sidenote: Nelson puts ice in his milk. No, just no.

Devin and Kiki are sent into the truth booth. They definitely think they are a match. I feel like this might not go very well. They aren’t a match. Which sucks for whoever is Devin’s match because he’s an ass. As Devin says “it’s tough to break a heart after 2 weeks,” but reality tv makes it happen. So Kiki and Devin don’t really want to “break up” which then sort of screws everyone else over because it’s kind of hard to randomly pick someone to be your match when two people that pick each other are guaranteed wrong.

Sidenote: Half of my commercials are about gum. Which I don’t chew, but I guess everyone else who watches MTV does.

It’s Match Up time, this time the guys chose the girls. Which means the girls have to sit down and I totally understand how it’s hard to look super cute in your super cute dress while sitting.

Hunter picks Stacey

Austin picks Kiki. Devin says he could figure out this game like a math equation. I’d love to see him try. Also once again I feel bad for whoever is his match

Connor picks Kayla

We seem to be ignoring the fact last week there were 2 correct couples, let’s all just pick randomly again!

Nelson picks Cheyenne

Mike and Amanda- which was the same as last week

Zac and Britni- I still don’t know how to spell her name

Devin picks Mel

Tyler and Rashida, I’m going to go ahead and hope that all of the African Americans aren’t actually true matches with one another

Alec and Chelsea

Chuck and Hannah the almost wonder twins!

NO ONE IS A MATCH.  All the matches are wrong. And everyone just lost a lot of money. Some are mad about the money and then a few couples are just sad because they thought they had found the one…I guess not. I feel bad for Mike and Chuck as I actually thought they had found the one.

Next time

People try to find out their matches. And there’s a throw down with the host, because why not.

Are you the one S3 E2: No one is the one, no ones at all

Fall tv: Season and Series Premiere Recommendations

So it’s that time of year again…brand new shows, returning favorites, and some shows that will be around for about 5 episodes before hitting the dust.

I’m here to help guide you and so you don’t have to spend your time watching the duds.

New Shows

For these, I’ve started with ones where there’s been some buzz/hype and also that I was interested in watching for their content.

Scream Queens

The 2 hour premiere was a little lengthy, but held my attention over all.  There’s a killer terrorizing some pretty girls…oh wait, isn’t that the plot to Pretty Little Liars, or even MTV’s Scream?  Anyway, we need to find out who the guy in the black hoodie–I mean red devil mask is.  I didn’t find it as hilarious or trope breaking as it was touted to be, but I’m going to stick around for a few episodes.  If it continues to mirror Pretty Little Liars I’m going to get out of there fast, I’ve already spent too many seasons wondering who the heck A is to do it again but this time at college.

Update: I was a little reluctant to watch the next episode, but have no regrets at all.  Niecy Nash is wonderful and I loved the Backstreet Boy scene. I’ll keep watching for this one.

Quantico

As I told my friend, the word Quantico just reminds me of White Collar and how all the FBI agents always reminisced.  Either way, I figured I would check it out.  I’m not sure how there will be a season 2, since I’m assuming we’ll find out that the main character, Alex, is not a terrorist by the end of season 1.  I love a good training camp scene, and no spoilers but I definitely gasped and was shocked at one point.  Not sure about who the terrorist is going to be but I can only hope it’s not the girl in the hijab, like I really really hope.

Returning Shows

How to get Away with Murder

Fresh off her Emmy win, Viola Davis is her to stay, and slay.  How to Get Away with Murder had the same problem Quantico is facing, how is there going to be a second season if we know who does it by the end of the first?  It’s working so far.  I am worried though, Shondaland is a magical place, however, she hit a sophomore slump around season 4/5 for both Grey’s Anatomy and Scandal, neither of which I continued watching.  So I’m worried for Professor Keating and the murder crew and hope they can hang on.

The Mindy Project

I’m going to have to admit, I don’t remember much of the end of last season, my interest has been waning.  But I think the first episodes of the Hulu revived season have been solid.  Mindy herself has always been the best part so I hope we continue to focus on her and don’t get carried away with any more ridiculous yet handsome Joseph Gordon-Levitt side plots.

Faking It

For anyone that hasn’t heard of Faking It, I need you to run out, run back inside, find a laptop and watch it.  MTV is a funny channel and sometimes produces fantastic tv.  Faking It is a prime example.  I love this show, and no, I’m not being mesmerized by how beautiful everyone’s hair always looks.  Just go check it out.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

This is another show I just absolutely love.  I love all the characters. And I love Jake and Amy’s sexual tension.  I love Gina and Holt.  I love Charles and Rosa and everyone. And this episode definitely has the best “Title of your Sex tape” joke so far. I didn’t love Bill Hader but that’s okay.  I also literally lol’ed.

Shows I’m going to watch too

I’ve heard positive buzz about Limitless, I’ve never seen the movie, but I might check it out.  Blindspot I’m a little wary depends on how much time I want to kill.  I will definitely 100% not be checking out Bastard Executioner or Shannara, despite both of them totally being in my fantasy loving wheelhouse.  Some things aren’t meant for tv.

To my nonexistent readers, if there’s something you want me to check out, just let me know.

Fall tv: Season and Series Premiere Recommendations