Sorry for the delay. I was watching 13 Reasons Why with the rest of the world.
Speaking of which, if you take 13 and multiply it by 2 and add 7 then you get…33!
So the Cylons have been attacking every 33 minutes for the last…5 DAYS. That means no one can sleep because all the ships have to jump somewhere every 33 minutes. I can’t function with less than 8.5 hours of sleep. I’d be dead. Who needs to save the entire human race, I’d just want a nap.
So suffice to say, everyone is a little pissy and tired. But don’t worry, the crew is a little bit more invested in the human race than I am.
On Colonial One Gaius hallucinates- but I guess he always does that- pretty Cylon 6 wants to have babies because God says so…I guess why not? He learns another scientist wants to talk to the President about the attacks which can’t possibly go well since he inadvertently gave all the codes to the Cylons, so that’s not good.
Back on Caprica we learn that Helo isn’t dead! And that his real name is Karl! I don’t really understand the point of call signs but I do like fun nicknames.
Old man Adama is feeling real tired and gets to take a ten minute nap. Good for him.
We then get to see Starbuck for the first time in the episode <33333333 She tells Apollo to stop sucking at being a leader. I’d listen to anything she says ever.
Back to Helo/Karl who is injecting himself with fun radiation needles. Remember the last time he was seen with all those people trying to leave the planet? I wonder where they went. Maybe they all took real long naps.
The communications lady (one day I’ll learn everyone’s names) finds out that one of the ships didn’t make the last jump. There goes about a tenth of the remaining human population. Ohp. Buttt, conveniently that Doctor Gaius was worried about was on that ship. Which Cylon 6 lady says is because God is looking out for him. Gaius likes #science and disagrees.
33 minutes go by…………but the Cylons don’t come!
Hurry! Everyone take a nap!
Apollo, Starbuck, and Boomer have to do the first patrol. Boomer, in case you don’t know her name, is from #calculationscrew and is oh wait, A CYLON. But she’s a ‘sleeper cylon,’ hahaha so many sleep jokes, and doesn’t know she’s a cylon. And then Starbuck jokes about how she’s never tired so she must be a cylon. So much dramatic irony.
The Olympic Carrier is back! That’s the ship that everyone thought died. But it shows up a little late, which is just a little sketchy. And by sketchy I mean that the ship won’t talk to anyone and has nukes on board.
Cylon 6 makes Gaius repent for doubting God which seemingly makes the President approve the destruction of the Olympic Carrier. Why didn’t we just ask God for a nap like 100 attacks ago? We’re not sure there are any evil cylons on the carrier, but they blow it up anyway. But this is war.
Back to Karl/Helo! A not hallucinated Cylon 6 tries to save him and then is shot by Boomer! But oh wait, isn’t Boomer flying around in a dramatic irony ship? Well this is another version of her and this is definitely going to go real well.
Madame President is real sad about the fact that they maybe just exploded a ship full of 1300 civilians, but the cylons haven’t attacked for 24 hours so it seems like God/the plan worked. But don’t worry! A baby was born so we can increase the headcount by one. Don’t worry baby, it will just be your job to help repopulate the entire human race #nopressure
Now let’s all go take a nap!