This week on Bachelor in Paradise…!
So there were some couples before filming shut down. But then everyone went home and were not intoxicated 24/7 and trapped on an island and got some perspective. So the ladies are unhappy.
Dean and Kristina went on an off camera road trip but now its kind of wonky.
Adam shows up. He is the father of Adam Junior, aka AJ, aka the best creepiest mannequin ever to exist. The bros are like super chill and say like all the women are like super open except for Taylor and Derek. Adam comes in hot with lots of questions for the ladies. He wants to know Raven’s ultimate goal for this show—- isn’t it everyone’s? Free booze on an island with slightly above average attractive people?
It’s time for Adam to decide who he is taking on his date. He asks Raven. And she says yes. Kristina has to turn her attention back to Dean who is being flaky. She wakes him from a nap to discuss. Let sleeping Deans lie. Dean decides to go shower, this is going well.
This season really seems to be more like Bachelor in Bro-adise. Because there are a lot of bromances happening and not so many romances.
Raven and Adam get to go get margaritas. Adam asks about all the other men in Raven’s life- Ben Z, Ben Z’s dog, and Robby. Raven wants a man she can be honest with, like brutally honest. Adam wants a rose and thinks Raven is pretty so he’s agreeing with everything.
Time for the first freaking rose ceremony! There are 8 women and only 12 men. So four fellas are going home. Which means the fellas are scrambling for some roses.
Ben Z really wants Raven’s rose. Not as much as he loves his dog, but a lot. Raven doesn’t know what she is going to do with her rose. Well, she does know she’s not giving it to Robby and his 12 abs. But Adam isn’t going home without a fight and twirls Raven into a private make out session.
Robby is trying to get Amanda’s rose. He is kind of concerned because she used to be engaged to his buddy- Josh, the biggest, sweatiest asshole. Robby tries to go in for a kiss and is denied. And then refers to himself as #romanticrobby
Taylor and Derek are an actual couple and the only really obvious rose for tonight.
Both Iggy AND Diggy are gunning for Lacey’s rose. Poor Lacey.
Amanda lets short Alex know that he is not getting her rose. So he’s out on the prowl. And literally talks to everyone.
So Dean decides to actually talk to Kristina. He lets her know he isn’t really feeling it and the vibe is weird. And at least he says it before the rose ceremony.
And there’s a rose ceremony coming up! But we’ll never get to have it because there’s a special report. So we literally never get this rose ceremony.
Andddd we’re back!
To finish this episode we finally get a rose ceremony!
Taylor goes first and gives her rose to Derek (DUH)
Jasmine and Matt
Raven and Adam (damnit)
Alexis and Jack Stone
Lacey and Diggy (good choice girl!)
Danielle and Ben Z (come through Danielle! Ben will have to go a week longer without his dog, but is a week closer to love)
Kristina and Dean (it’s as if we saw Dean in all the previews)
Amanda gives her rose to Robby (UGHHHH)
So Diggy, Nick, Alex, and Vinny go home. Vinny at least gets a blooper filled exit with his seat belt.
It’s a new day in paradise so that means there’s going to be some new people to shake things up. And it’s Danielle L! In case you need a man’s opinion- she’s like really hot. And she has a cool nickname- DLo. So like she has everything going for her. And she wants to go with Dean, and he says yes.
We get a great scene of Jasmine and Alexis as besties. I’m so here for this. Yay for girl friendship!!
Dean is worried about Kristina’s “headspace” and wants to make sure she’s good with the date he is going on with another woman. But then he goes on the date with the other woman anyway. So obviously very concerned. Dean and DLo go riding on an ATV or whatever through the jungle. Both Dean and DLo think each other are like really pretty.
We get a nice cut of Kristina walking in the ocean all sad juxtaposed with Dean and DLo making out with each other. This is going to be a fun love triangle.
Kristina wants to be with Dean and Dean is kind of like flopping around. He manages to flop his way into a conversation with Kristina. I feel like important conversations should be had while at least sitting up and not while lounging on giant colored pillows. They don’t actually discuss anything though. But are now all good?
Everyone goes to the beach for a bonfire. And Dean and Kristina are good. Except Dean is an idiot because he brings DLo a half birthday cake. Ugh Dean. And awww Kristina because she’s sad because Dean is stupid.
Tomorrow night we deal with more of the Dean/Kristina drama. BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY THERE IS JORGE TOURGES AND WELLS AND DANIELLE.