The Bachelorette S14 E8: Let’s eat some wings!

So I missed last week but it’s not really important because it’s final four hometowns!!!!

The last four are:

Garrett who got the first impression rose and likes racist things on Instagram

Jason who has greasy hair and is from Buffalo

Unremarkable other dude

And Colton who hooked up with TiaT.

So a great group of guys.

Garrett goes first and he has a farm themed date! They plant plants! Such fun! Garrett used to be married to a not very nice lady so his family is real protective. But it’s okay because this is a show and Becca will win everyone over.

Time to go to greasy-haired-Jason’s hometown of Buffalo. First they eat some buffalo wings. Becca ate like half of one, that’s a deal breaker for me. I would have eaten at least 20. Then they take their bloated selves ice skating. And then they make out…on a zamboni…while the poor driver just drives it along. I feel so bad for him. She meets his family, they are nice. It is boring. But Jason has to throw out the love word because this is final four here people and we gotta commit.

Time for Blake! I didn’t remember his name! He supposedly had the first one on one but I’m not sure I believe that. So Blake told Becca he loves her and she loves him back but the rules of whether she can tell him are iffy so we’ll just have to wait. And their date starts in Blake’s high school. Whyyyyyyyy. The amount of high schools on this show is insane. Although we learn there was a school shooting there which is sad and gun control is a real thing we need to do. Then there is a surprise concert by Betty Who, she’s a real musician. Where did this budget come from?

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So Blake’s mom has very large hair. And she is a little dubious of this process. This one time Blake had a girlfriend for like 6 months and they broke up and Blake was never going to love again so like this is tough for all of them.

Colton is next. We learned last episode that he is a virgin. Which is odd since he hooked up with Tia. So if they never even got to home base why do we even care? #drama

Their date is going to the hospital to visit some sick kids. Fine Colton, this is nice. Way to use your football fame for good. Colton hasn’t ever brought anyone home, just like he has never had sex. Except twitter is here to remind us all when he dated the olympic gymnast and posted a pic of matching Christmas jammies at his house. The internet knows all Colton, about Garrett’s racist insta likes and your past relationships. Becca gets to discuss Colton’s virginity with his mother, how fun.

Time to bring in the ladies! Becca needs some advice from her friends and oh wait Tia is here and one time Tia hooked up with Colton. So Becca recaps her hometowns and of course says she met Colton’s family. And Tia interrupts her to tell her that she still has feelings for Colton. After that one time they hooked up and didn’t have sex. Tia feels sick to her stomach about it. I never liked Tia and I will continue to not like Tia. Becca is predictably a little upset about her good friend saying that she really likes one of her final four. BOOOOOOOO Tia. BOOOOOOOOOO

Time for the rose ceremony.

To recap we have Garrett that likes inappropriate things on instagram. greasy hair Jason, super cute and my new favorite Blake, and stupid-love-triangle-with-Tia-Colton. Colton decides to talk to Chris Harrison about the expectations of the fantasy suite…instead of talking to Becca. He’s horrible. BOO.

Time for the roses:

New favorite Blake gets the first one

Greasy haired Jason gets the second

And the final rose goes toooooooooo Garrett!

That’s right. Becca is not here for love triangles and sends Colton home!

Colton says he knew Becca was special after she met his family, he maybe should have known that a little earlier.

Time to travel to Thailand for fantasy suites!  Let’s go!!

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The Bachelorette S14 E8: Let’s eat some wings!

The Bachelorette S14 E5: No more Danke Schoen or golden underwear

We’re in Vegas this week so it’s time to take a gamble on love! We can stop the gambling references here, and by that I mean every other sentence seems like it will be a pun or reference.

Colton gets the first one-on-one of the week. Hopefully he’s not actually the two-on-one with Tia showing up. Their date is riding camels…because that’s what you do in Vegas? We get the first oddly placed hot tub of the season – in the middle of a camel field in the middle of Vegas. We get to Colton’s backstory and he has only been in love once and was broken up with.

The group date is Wills, Garret, Blake, John, Connor, Leo, Lincoln, Jason, and Chris. Which meanssssssssssss Chicken David and Model Jordan are on the 2-on-1. Say what you will but the producers give us what we want.

Back to Colton and how he and Becca have already overcome sooooooo many obstacles. Like that one time Colton hooked up with Tia 5 months and then told Becca about it. He obviously gets the rose. And he does it, he says it, he’s falling in love with Becca.

On the group date they get to hang out with Wayne Newton (?). I guess he sings, he does have the entirety of all the Botox in the world in his face. And the guys have to write songs for her. Chris already had to do this exact thing on his one-on-one date so he’s an old pro for this. And of course the guys have to all perform for a live audience. Which means we have to watch too. #whyyyyy Nothing like 5,000 horrible renditions of Danke Schoen.

Chris decides to just go for it and once again already had to do this once and did a passably good job and made up for the utter lack of pitch with some enthusiasm.

David and Jordan officially get their 2-on-1 date card. Lots of posturing happening here.

Back to the group date, Chris is realllllllly confident in himself. And dude whose name I don’t know confesses that he is falling in love with Becca. Idk he’s generically white. Oh wait his name is Blake and he gets the group date rose. Becca isn’t messing around with dudes not confessing how they are falling. Chris internalizes the fact he didn’t get the rose and also didn’t get much alone time and says he must be going home. Calm down Chris, calm downnn.

Time for our two-on-one and it’s in the middle of the desert. YASSS. I’d personally send them both home. David starts out strong by spending his alone time by talking about Jordan. David feels great about this conversation, oh David. He says that Jordan was walking around talking about how he could marry models but is going to settle with Becca. Jordan dismisses this and then launches into his sob story. His mom has multiple mental illnesses but his dad still loves her. Are we going to get a Dean hometown part 2? #pleaseno. Jordan’s greatest power is being Jordan, that is not David’s greatest power. Becca feels like she is back in 6th grade. I agree Becca. Send them homeeeeeeeeeee. She sends David home but isn’t necessarily giving Jordan that rose just yet.

Now Jordan gets a one-on-one pretty much for the rest of the date with dinner with Becca. They get really deep and we find out that Becca goes to brunch on Sundays. And Jordan puts a lot of effort into his appearance with the gym and skincare. He shows off how he can move like any muscle in his face and wishes if he only had his portfolio to show Becca. And because Becca is great, she isn’t giving the rose to Jordan either. Even his facial muscles cannot save the date.

Jordan takes it well by listing all of his accomplishments: he can speak, he can walk. He’ll be doing those things at home from now on.

I’m just going to say it- I have not liked any of Becca’s rose ceremony dresses so far.

Becca grabs Chris first because Chris has been on the complain train of not getting any alone time. Chris starts with the fact that Becca owes him 50,000 kisses. NOPE. Becca needs someone who is a partner and will be there to split it 50/50. Not 50,000/0.

Chris doesn’t want it to end badly and goes to steal Becca away from Wills and Wills gives him 2 minutes, but 2 minutes exactly. He is not messing around. And he doesn’t back down even while Chris awkwardly refuses to leave. And then Chris and Wills return to the other guys and we establish that Chris sucks some more as he argues with everyone.

Chris gets that alone time though to say he is falling for Becca but is a little scared. He is just putting himself out there and stuff.

Time for some rosesssssss. Remember Blake and Colton already have theirs.

Wills, Lincoln, Leo, Connor, some other dudes I missed, anddddddd the last rose goes to Chris. Boo.

That means John of internet Venmo fame goes home.

Time for a change of scenery, time for somewhere super fun….Richmond, Virginia!

The Bachelorette S14 E5: No more Danke Schoen or golden underwear

The Bachelorette S14 E4: I love you…r cologne

We pick up with the rose ceremony cliffhanger.

The one dude tries to lighten things up by talking about kids…on his bunkbed. Oh wait he’s Blake, but Blake be more smooth than your bunkbed! And be more considerate to the fact David broke his face when he fell off the bunkbed.

Becca decide to give Jordan the underwear wearing model some gold booty shorts. But oh wait broken face chicken David is back to interrupt. And Jordan isn’t threatened because he’s the prettiest but he sure does talk about David a lot. Becca gives David a pity rose- oh wait, just normal rose- sureeeeeee, so he doesn’t have to stand up during the rose ceremony.

So it’s time for the actual rose ceremony and Jason gets the first rose, but oh wait, there is a dude in a track suit…I don’t know why.  Wills, Nick (forever now known as tracksuit guy), Christon, Lincoln, Blake, Garrett, Leo, John, Connor, Jordan, and Jean Blanc is the last to get the rose.

Sending silly long haired dude and generic other dude home. And it’s time to move on from the mansion and go to Utah.

Garrett gets the first one-on-one of the date. He also got the first impression rose which statistically leads to lots of success. They get to walk around the town and spend some time in a souvenir shop…a great way to start a date.

Let’s check in with the boys! And they are discussing the very controversial topic of the world being…flat. That’s right, Lincoln thinks the world is flat. And I’m not saying the people on this show are smart, but at least the other guys are looking at him like he’s insane.

Becca and Garrett get to go bobsledding and meet some former Olympians, that happen to be lesbians, and this happens to be important because Garret likes to like homophobic racist things on instagram. So don’t be dazzled by his smile, we’re critical. Becca is definitely dazzled.

And I missed some of the middle which I will fill in later!

But first Jean Blanc is going to give Becca some perfume because he’s a cologne connoisseur. Becca isn’t feeling it. Jean Blanc goes ahead and tells Becca he’s falling in love with her. And she doesn’t say anything, because this is realllllllllll early. But like jk he doesn’t mean it. And he’s going home, because it’s too much too early. But oh wait he questions the gift he just gave her. It gets more awkward just when you think it’s done.

And Becca is done with this crap and this date and not giving out a rose because all she wants is honesty and you go girl.

Wills has the one-on-one after that horrendous date, so let’s see how this works for him. All the dudes wanted one-on-ones but now that Becca is being serious they are all running scared. But Wills is stepping up to the plate and going to try. They get to snow mobile through some snow and get a picnic, which I feel would be really cold on your butt.

So Wills has to solidify the fact that he is not the asshole of Jean Blanc by telling his sob story of his girlfriend that cheated on him. And Becca can relate because this one time the supreme asshole of Arie was an ass. Wills gets the rose, he seems like a nice boy. Which is nice.

But oh hey we only have 13 more minutes left which means no rose ceremony. But we get the beginning of the cocktail party. OH JK. There is not cocktail party, we’re going straight to roseeeeeeeeeeee. YES.

Leo gets the first rose, then Colton, Blake, Jason, Connor, Lincoln, John (I think), Chris, David, and the final rose goes to Jordan, surprise surprise.

So going home are Nick and Christon (??). Bye boys.

And they are going to Vegas next. But oh wait, Jordan has never been last place in his entire life, so watch out he’s a sponge and if you squeeze him you can get everything out of him but you never know until you try….?

The Bachelorette S14 E4: I love you…r cologne

The Bachelor S22 E11: After the Final Rose: Proposals, Squads, and Bachelorettes! And a horse

Okay people, I don’t normally watch After the Final Rose for The Bachelor, but I also don’t normally watch 3 hours of finale, so here we are.

In case you live under a rock or you didn’t read my last blog post, this one time Arie picked Becca and then said jk and wanted to go get Lauren instead.

We start with a recap of just how horrible Arie is as he proposes to Becca and “will choose her everyday.” JKJKJK. Arie you suck. We do not like you.

First Arie gets some advice from Jason, the other dude who picked his runner up instead. And then Arie goes to get Lauren. Who lives with her parents…? Jk he was just creeping at her parents’ house. So I guess Arie called Lauren before meeting up with her, and she has some questions before getting back together with him. Oh she was sad and that’s why she went back to her parents, this makes more sense than her living at home.

So this one time Arie saw doubt in Lauren’s eyes and he was doubting their relationship, and he let the rational side take over because Becca had no doubts, but his emotional side is the one that loves Lauren. Arie says he’s a 1000% over Becca- WHAT WHAT WHAT I don’t know how long it has actually been but like it hasn’t been long enough. I HATE YOU ARIE.

But don’t worry, Lauren doesn’t hate him and takes him back. BLERCCHH.

Time to go hear from some of the other girls that Arie dumped this season. They all agree that Arie sucks and it’s not Lauren. We have a confirmed timeline. It was 6 months between proposal to Becca and getting back with Lauren. THAT IS FAST ARIE VERY FAST. The girls do want Lauren to break up with Arie.

Time to bring out Becca, who is amazing and wonderful. So ABC definitely got some flack about all the unedited crying footage and we are now doing PR cover our butts as Becca says she understands the footage was important and gave her closure. Oh honey, I’m sorry. Arie talked to Lauren while still with Becca but told Becca about that which would be nice until oh wait he broke up with Becca and ruined everything.

It’s the moment we’ve been waiting for, Becca and Arie reunite. She has some questions and does not punch him, which makes me sad. Arie says words in regards to her questions but they don’t really make sense. BOOO. Arie felt empty when he got back from Peru….Arie, this is a problem and maybe you should have addressed it before swapping to the other option of Lauren. Arie didn’t think it ever went wrong, he was just “one foot in,” and he should not have proposed.

So this one time Jason picked his runner up and now he is here with her to talk to Chris. I am not here for this, I am here for Becca (and other Bekah dragging Arie through the mud).

So Arie supposedly didn’t watch the finale, he was just straight chilling with Lauren. UGH. Here is Lauren, guess what, she did not magically develop a personality, she’s just as bland. Lauren confirms that Arie literally slid into her DMs to start talking to her again. Lauren thinks Arie is really brave and honest and I’m barfing. Arie says people don’t understand the gravity of this, Arie, I’ve watched lots of seasons of The Bachelor, I know how serious this is. And you messed up.

Arie and Lauren’s plans for their future involve leaving the country, never going on social media, and moving to Arizona together. Such fun.

Oh wait, Arie is here to prove that he is the biggest idiot of all time and proposes to Lauren during the show. Because that isn’t like spitting in Becca’s face or anything. Bye forever Arieeeeee!

Time for the next Bachelorette! It is Becca! Which we knew! But yay! And yes she is too good for this but I’m here to watch some reality tv and like it. And the other girls are super supportive which I believe is sincere despite the fact they’re on tv so they kind of have to say this.

And because we have 15 minutes to fill, Becca is going to get to meet some of her contestants! Because we love watching super awkward things happen live. First is Lincoln, he has a bow tie. I liked him but like he kept talking and it’s his birthday and we don’t need it to be so long winded. Chase is next and he has a baby mullet, sorry Chase, it’s not happening. Oh hey and here is a banjo, Brian plays it, it could be worse. Here is another dude who apologizes on the behalf of all men. Blake is next, he brings Bradley the horse, but doesn’t ride it….he just leads it into the room. Because if you fall of a horse you need to get back up again. At least she rides side saddle.

So that’s it folks! We have no quests for true love until May where we start Becca’s journey for love!

The Bachelor S22 E11: After the Final Rose: Proposals, Squads, and Bachelorettes! And a horse

The Bachelor S22 E10: Well it’s not boring anymore #ArieSorry

The culmination of Arie’s love, a dramatic proposal so he can spend the rest of his life with one woman….wait. I managed to stay spoiler free this season of The Bachelor, despite the internet’s attempt to ruin everything, but in the end it was Chris Harrison, Jason Mesnick, and the utter lack of background music that revealed what would happen before it did.

But let’s not get too ahead of ourselves.

We start with Arie’s parents meeting the women. Lauren goes first, she’s blonde and emotionless and Arie’s blonde and not-fully-emotionless mother likes her, that’s a good sign, for Lauren. Next goes Becca. I swear they filmed these on the same day and just forced everyone to change outfits. Arie’s family is a bit preoccupied by how Becca is not Lauren, and keeps mentioning Lauren to Becca. Becca smiles on and describes her wonderful love journey with Arie for the last 2 months, oh honey.

They both get their one last one-on-one dates. Lauren gets to go to the ruins of Macchu Picchu which is super cool, it’s raining and they sneak around the ruins to make out. Good thing the cameramen did some cardio first to catch up with them. Arie and Lauren continue to say “I love you” to each other and I guess he means it.

Becca’s date is next. There are some adorbs alpacas and random children and it rains. I hate to say it, but it’s so boring I don’t even remember. They also profess some love, it’s whatever.

And we’re speeding towards the end with the proposal. Lauren does win the best dressed, but it’s her foot out of the limo first. Which is surprising. But Arie can’t picture them together, she handles it incredibly well and is sent on her way.

Becca is next and goes over their love story and is thrilled when Arie gets down on one knee and promises all the future days together. Music plays, they kiss.

And we cut to Chris Harrison with the live audience. This isn’t over folks. If you missed the infamous Jason Mesnick story, he was the bachelor once, he picked a lady and then a few months later said jk, I want the runner up lady. So we have a precedent, but Jason waited months to break up, and also didn’t do it on unedited tv.

What we learn is that Arie and Becca have been having a great time, they don’t live together yet so they travel. Becca is all glowy and happy. And here’s Arie……….he’s in the rain with the umbrella. He keeps thinking about his fateful choice on that day, and he’s regretting it.

So in the incredibly bold and incredibly exploitative move the producers bring them together for a “happy couples weekend” in LA so Arie can break up with Becca. And Becca does not expect it, and Arie is a complete ass. He explains how he thinks about Lauren when he goes to bed and wakes up and how he is only half here for Becca. Becca asks would he only be half there for Lauren, and Arie says no, he will be fully there. He says sorry about fifteen million times. We don’t care if you are sorry Arie, you are horrible. ARIE SUCKS I HATE HIM GO HOME. Becca handles the two cameramen inches from her face pretty well before escaping to the bathroom so she can rightly sob. And then Arie won’t leave and the cameramen won’t leave and it’s so sad. Arie is horrible at breaking Becca’s heart. And now that he has done it, we can only assume he’s off to confess his love to Lauren, but we get to watch that during the After the Final Rose special tonight.

So it was one of the most dramatic finales yet from one of the most boring Bachelors yet, who we will now hate forever. Can’t wait for Becca to put Arie through the wringer tonight!

The Bachelor S22 E10: Well it’s not boring anymore #ArieSorry

The Bachelor S22 E9: It’s going to be a no for me on the sand-filled Fantasy Suite

That’s right people, it’s Fantasy Suite week on The Bachelor!

Only three women are left and the only way to determine which one you want to spend the rest of your life with is to have sex with them back to back to back in a fantasy suite approved by Chris Harrison. So let’s start this fun!

First up is dead animal lover Kendall. They get to go dune buggy-ing and sand surfing or whatever. Have I mentioned we are now in Peru that is somehow half desert and half ocean but we are somehow spending all of the time in the desert? So Kendall is a little behind the other girls because she is not yet ready to throw herself on Arie and his impending Neil Lane ring, she voices this concern but it’s okay, they can still fantasy suite. They wake up and Kendall is reaffirmed in her decision to have sex with Arie, so I guess he can’t be all that boring, and is happy with their status.

Next up is Lauren. Excuse me while I fall asleep from being so bored. They get to look at some actually super cool ruins which of course Lauren ruins by being so incredibly emotionless. They get dinner and Lauren professes her love (uhh still don’t think she’s capable of emotions) and because Arie is Arie he professes it back. It’s still incredibly boring but they get it on and wake up fulfilled.

One last fantasy suite, and if you noticed that this episode is moving a little quickly it’s because we got some hot drama coming up.

Becca and Arie get to go on a boat even though it looks really cold and cloudy. Becca is very down for immediate marriage and engagement and let’s move to boring old Arizona because this needs to happen now. Arie is down for the fact she is capable of more than the 2 words Lauren utters but doesn’t say quite so many words as Kendall. They make out lots. The second part of their date is in a tent in the middle of the desert, literally. This is the fantasy suite. FANTASY SUITE. There is no fantasy here people. You are in the middle of the desert, where is your indoor plumbing? What happens when you have to pee in the middle of the night because you’ve “spent the whole night talking” there are no bathrooms here! And then they wake up and Arie doesn’t even get to cook her breakfast like he did for the other girls because once again- MIDDLE OF DESERT.

We think everything is going peachy keen but there’s a lot of shots of Becca walking back to her hotel room slowly. And we started mentioning her ex a lot this episode. GASP.

HE’S HERE! It’s Ross! They date for 7 years and broke up last year and Ross has spent the entirety of this last year thinking about Becca but waited until she was on tv to go down to Peru to confess his love. Sorry Ross, you’re cute but Becca is saying no to you because she believes she has this in the bag. Also because you maybe could profess your love not on tv, that might add some credibility. Becca runs to Arie afterwards to confirm she is not going to dump him for the younger man with the nicer, not grey hair, and just wants to really emphasize her love for Arie, we get it honey. The random man the producers brought for the drama is not the one you want.

Time for the rose ceremony. Who will go home?!? Arie stands and sighs and then….pulls Kendall aside! This worked for her last time but unfortunately for her and her dead animals it is time for her to go packing. Adios Kendall! So that leaves boring boring Lauren and Becca who just lovesss Arie as our final two. Can’t wait to see who gets that final rose and sparkly ass Neil Lane ring next week!

The Bachelor S22 E9: It’s going to be a no for me on the sand-filled Fantasy Suite

The Bachelor S22 E8: Protective Dads (and Uncles!)

It’s hometowns this week on The Bachelor so get ready for some great and unique families!

And I’m not saying this season is boring and lame, but I am saying it’s hard for me to even remember the four women left.

Quick recap to help everyone!

Boring Lauren who is blonde and monosyllabic

Kendall who likes taxidermy

Becca went on the first one-on-one

and Tia, the knockoff bitchier version of Raven

Kendall, queen of dead, stuffed animals is up first. She’s from LA. Since the only thing we know about Kendall is that she likes taxidermy, obviously this is the first stop on the date. It’s terrifying, as expected. It gets even scarier as they stuff some rat skins, I have no idea if that is the correct terminology and I don’t want to know. Kendall likes Arie and is less logical when she is around him, let’s bring some logic back please. And get rid of the dead animal bodies. Arie says he’s falling for Kendall because we’ve thrown out all the rules, Kendall does not say it back. Honey, you know you better be saying it by the end of this date or you are going home. Or staying home I guess.

Time for Arie to meet the family. Kendall gets some one-on-one time with her mom and discusses how she is falling for Arie and it’s scary. Kendall has a twin named Kylie, I am not making this up. And Kylie is asking Arie some tough questions. Arie worries that Kendall is too analytical aka smart and she might not be ready to trust a tv show with her future. Kendall’s dad lays down the truth and says he would say no if Arie asked for his permission to marry his daughter, because he believes that this show is a little too fast. At the same time her dad will support Kendall 100%. AWWWWWWWWWW YAY FOR DADS. Kendall goes in for the kill at the end of the date by saying she’s falling for Arie, because she knows that girls that don’t profess their “falling for you” are sent packing.

Time to go down south to Weiner, Arkansas with Tia. Oh goodie. Tia plays unfair and takes Arie racing. He goes real fast. He gets to meet Tia’s real southern family who serve him pigs in a blanket. Tia’s brother is not here to mince words, he has heard that Arie is a playboy and a kissing bandit, and I wouldn’t say those are wrong. Also Tia’s brother is a large man and Arie should be scared. But he makes it through the conversation with his face intact. Arie passes her dad’s test, even though her dad does have google and can find Arie. OH WAIT HERE WE GO. TIA IS IN LOVE WITH ARIE. Let’s declare it to get to final 3, Tia knows how to play this game.

Becca is next, she’s from Minnesota. They go apple picking and eat some apples. How healthy. Becca’s dad passed away when she was 19 so her Uncle, Pastor Gary will be there, so nice and intimidating for Arie. Uncle Gary is upfront about the cancer the family has faced and how they have faced it has a family. They are Becca’s guard dogs. And Becca’s mom is not ready to give her permission for Arie to marry her daughter just yet.  Becca quizzes Arie by asking him to think of committed relationships he knows of and if Becca and him are on the same level. Becca’s mom will not bless his proposal, but she does bless Becca’s choice. Yay for Becca’s mom.

Lauren’s hometown is last and based on the previews, it is going to be a doozy. They’re in Virginia Beach. They ride horses on the beach. Oh and here is Lauren’s family that describes themselves as conservative. Oh and it is conservatively awkward, and by that I mean not at all, it’s super awkward. So much so that Arie has to get up from silent dinner to wipe the sweat off of himself.

Lauren’s dad’s red flags about Arie: he is self-centered, and it’s all about him. He also threatens to kill Arie. Her dad was in the military and thankfully this one time Arie hung out with some troops which saves him. I disagree, Lauren’s dad can still kill him. Arie tells Lauren’s mom he is falling in love with Lauren. He asks for her permission and like all the other responsible parents, she says she trusts her daughter. I appreciate the trust of daughters, I just thought we would have more angry dads.

Time for the rose ceremony. And this one is a big one guys, because top three get fantasy suites. And we can only guess how the kissing bandit is in the bedroom (EW I DO NOT WANT TO GUESS THAT NVM). Arie gets out of the limo and doesn’t know what he is going to do, he better figure it out fast because the next step is giving out some roses.  Oh wait, it’s not the next step, the next step is Arie freaking out and going into the other room.

He then asks to talk to Kendall, what is this Arie, this is not the way rose ceremonies go. And this is not good news for Kendall. He wants to know if Kendall is okay with being engaged in three days after knowing Arie for 6 weeks total. And she isn’t ready, despite being on a show that literally ends with the grand prize of getting engaged. They go back inside, I wonder how these roses are going to go….

Becca gets the first one, then Lauren (boring and predictable), and then OH SNAP KENDALL. So bye bye to Tia. And imma say it, I’m not a fan and do not want her as the next Bachelorette, but this extended goodbye scene isn’t helping. #overit

Next week is 2 episodes back to back! Ah! Sunday is Women tell All (snooze) and Monday is fantasy suiteeeeeeeeessssssssssss. And a man! Who is here to get his girl back. Which is definitely not staged, but I’ll take it!

The Bachelor S22 E8: Protective Dads (and Uncles!)