We’re in Vegas this week so it’s time to take a gamble on love! We can stop the gambling references here, and by that I mean every other sentence seems like it will be a pun or reference.
Colton gets the first one-on-one of the week. Hopefully he’s not actually the two-on-one with Tia showing up. Their date is riding camels…because that’s what you do in Vegas? We get the first oddly placed hot tub of the season – in the middle of a camel field in the middle of Vegas. We get to Colton’s backstory and he has only been in love once and was broken up with.
The group date is Wills, Garret, Blake, John, Connor, Leo, Lincoln, Jason, and Chris. Which meanssssssssssss Chicken David and Model Jordan are on the 2-on-1. Say what you will but the producers give us what we want.
Back to Colton and how he and Becca have already overcome sooooooo many obstacles. Like that one time Colton hooked up with Tia 5 months and then told Becca about it. He obviously gets the rose. And he does it, he says it, he’s falling in love with Becca.
On the group date they get to hang out with Wayne Newton (?). I guess he sings, he does have the entirety of all the Botox in the world in his face. And the guys have to write songs for her. Chris already had to do this exact thing on his one-on-one date so he’s an old pro for this. And of course the guys have to all perform for a live audience. Which means we have to watch too. #whyyyyy Nothing like 5,000 horrible renditions of Danke Schoen.
Chris decides to just go for it and once again already had to do this once and did a passably good job and made up for the utter lack of pitch with some enthusiasm.
David and Jordan officially get their 2-on-1 date card. Lots of posturing happening here.
Back to the group date, Chris is realllllllly confident in himself. And dude whose name I don’t know confesses that he is falling in love with Becca. Idk he’s generically white. Oh wait his name is Blake and he gets the group date rose. Becca isn’t messing around with dudes not confessing how they are falling. Chris internalizes the fact he didn’t get the rose and also didn’t get much alone time and says he must be going home. Calm down Chris, calm downnn.
Time for our two-on-one and it’s in the middle of the desert. YASSS. I’d personally send them both home. David starts out strong by spending his alone time by talking about Jordan. David feels great about this conversation, oh David. He says that Jordan was walking around talking about how he could marry models but is going to settle with Becca. Jordan dismisses this and then launches into his sob story. His mom has multiple mental illnesses but his dad still loves her. Are we going to get a Dean hometown part 2? #pleaseno. Jordan’s greatest power is being Jordan, that is not David’s greatest power. Becca feels like she is back in 6th grade. I agree Becca. Send them homeeeeeeeeeee. She sends David home but isn’t necessarily giving Jordan that rose just yet.
Now Jordan gets a one-on-one pretty much for the rest of the date with dinner with Becca. They get really deep and we find out that Becca goes to brunch on Sundays. And Jordan puts a lot of effort into his appearance with the gym and skincare. He shows off how he can move like any muscle in his face and wishes if he only had his portfolio to show Becca. And because Becca is great, she isn’t giving the rose to Jordan either. Even his facial muscles cannot save the date.
Jordan takes it well by listing all of his accomplishments: he can speak, he can walk. He’ll be doing those things at home from now on.
I’m just going to say it- I have not liked any of Becca’s rose ceremony dresses so far.
Becca grabs Chris first because Chris has been on the complain train of not getting any alone time. Chris starts with the fact that Becca owes him 50,000 kisses. NOPE. Becca needs someone who is a partner and will be there to split it 50/50. Not 50,000/0.
Chris doesn’t want it to end badly and goes to steal Becca away from Wills and Wills gives him 2 minutes, but 2 minutes exactly. He is not messing around. And he doesn’t back down even while Chris awkwardly refuses to leave. And then Chris and Wills return to the other guys and we establish that Chris sucks some more as he argues with everyone.
Chris gets that alone time though to say he is falling for Becca but is a little scared. He is just putting himself out there and stuff.
Time for some rosesssssss. Remember Blake and Colton already have theirs.
Wills, Lincoln, Leo, Connor, some other dudes I missed, anddddddd the last rose goes to Chris. Boo.
That means John of internet Venmo fame goes home.
Time for a change of scenery, time for somewhere super fun….Richmond, Virginia!