Let’s stop lying to ourselves, we only really care about Chad.
And hopefully the announcement that Luke is the next Bachelor.
They introduce all the guys no one remembers and we still don’t know who they are and then we get our Chad montage. Chadtage.
The first drama we have to re-hash is Derek vs Alex. It’s lame and we quickly move on to…
So Chad thinks everyone is ridiculous and fake and apparently went home and googled all of them and has dirt on everyone. Nice job Chad. Gotta be prepared. He also somehow met and dated all of their exes. Obviously no one likes Chad still and for some reason Santa has decided to cling to his fame and wants to fight Chad. Sit down Santa. Chad kills it with great insults and witty comebacks. I am #teamChad. Also I have learned you can’t fit another bro in dress shoes.
We re-hash ripped shirt gate with Evan and get a slo-mo and it’s inconclusive. We’ll never really know who started it. Evan still sucks. Chad is great. He is going to the King of Bachelor in Paradise.
Next we move on to Luke, who better be the next damn Bachelor. He is such a nice guy and his season will be a little boring but damn it I want it to happen! Luke remains a stand up adorable guy and is ready to love again as Chris Harrison says and I’m ready to watch him do that!
It’s Chase’s turn, let’s see if he’s just as bland and boring as before…yup. Too boring to even talk about.
Here’s JoJo, she like never broke up with anyone ever before this. And like all of a sudden had to do it 24 times. Maybe that’s why she sucks so much at it. She says she sent home Luke because he never said ‘Love.’ Stupid. Luke says he knows he loved her because he just wanted her to be happy. So literally he is the nicest best guy ever.
Chase then gets to ask why JoJo sent him home. Maybe because he’s lame and boring. And that’s pretty much the reason.
Chris Harrison opens the floor up to the guys to talk to JoJo. And Santa says she looks nice, literally ignoring the fact he tried to fight Chad in dress shoes just 20 minutes before. Derek talks about reassurance because he can’t let it go. Vinny’s mom somehow is here and tells JoJo that her son would have been the best guy for her and is a great guy.
And we then get what we’re all waiting for. Bloopers! There’s a lot of animal mishaps. And bugs. Laughs for all!
JoJo picks her one true loveeeeee. And her family is back and just as scary as before. And there’s lots of crying. WHAT WILL HAPPEN?!?