Time for LAS VEGASSSSs.
The twins were born and raised there…not surprised.
Ben totally commissions a giant light up sign to welcome the ladies to Las Vegas, so romantic! I don’t think the ladies understand how this show works. Ben isn’t squirreled away in his room writing down ideas for super romantic things to do for the 14 women he’s dating.
JoJo gets the first one-on-one date in Vegas.
The twins do everything together, the live together, they treadmill together, they have the same job…but we already knew that, because their profession is “Twins.” They also definitely had a birthday in the last week because they are now 23.
New game- try to see how long the show can go without an Olivia confessional, shot of Olivia, or someone complaining about Olivia! I’m betting 2 minutes max.
A helicopter comes to whisk JoJo and Ben away on their date. I’m not sure if JoJo is wearing clothes. Her top seems to be a black piece of fabric that is almost blown away by the wind. After the first half of their date- which was making out, JoJo and Ben have a great “opening up” conversation and make out some more. And wait, there’s fireworks. And the other girls can see the fireworks, which just inspire EXTREME ANGER. How could those fireworks be for JoJo and not them?! How could they make out under fireworks in Las Vegas?! That is a bucket list item all of them decided they wanted to do like 5 minutes ago! Life is so unfair.
The group date might secretly be torture, because it’s a talent show in front of an actual audience! And there’s a creepy ass ventriloquist. And 12 women on one date.
I promise I’m trying to not just quote everything Olivia says- but BAM SHABAM.
Hailey (Hayley Hailee? sp) and Emily start off with an Irish dance…in German costumes. Jubilee actually knows how to play the cello. Then we get a montage of everyone else’s talent…until Olivia. Who pops out of a cake not wearing very many things. Props to Caila to being just the nicest person ever and having positive-ish things to say.
Olivia then has a panic attack- since I’m not a licensed medical professional I cannot comment on the veracity of the panic attack…so yeah. She was like really embarrassed by Ben being embarrassed the “talent” she decided of her own free will to perform. Also she’s not sure if she’s “marriage material.”
I do not like #RachelUnemployed’s dress. Quote of the day by Lauren H: “little ben is way bigger than I expected”… in regards to the terrifying ventriloquist puppet…not Ben’s dick. Although if it had been about his dick it might have been less awkward. She also does not know how to kiss.
I think I know the route of the Olivia problem- she never learned how to share…wait nope, there’s definitely more to her than that.
The group date rose goes to Lauren B (quick recap- she’s the flight attendant afraid of heights, and is cute and blonde and seems nice).
Becca’s one-on-one involves her wearing a wedding dress. And Jubilee comes in with the actual best quote of the episode “If she hasn’t lost her virginity in 26 years I doubt it’s going to happen in 6 hours.” Ben gets down on one knee and Becca almost has a heart attack- no they aren’t getting married, they’re just marrying other people. Marrying as in officiating. A dream come true for most couples to have Ben and the woman he most likely isn’t going to choose to marry to officiate their wedding.
Ben’s big questions for Becca- can she love? Can she feel? Is she secretly a robot trying to take over the world?
Surprise two-on-one date! With twins! They go to their house, because nothing says awkward like meeting someone’s mom before breaking up with their sister. To make a snap judgement, since I can’t actually tell them apart, but I like Haley better, as Emily starts crying to her mom within 2 minutes of getting home and throws Haley under the bus. Well great, because Ben sends Haley home…in front of her mom. Possibly most awkward thing ever.
Cocktail party timeeee
Jen attempts to talk to Ben to get screen time. But guess what?! Olivia jumps in. Saying her talent isn’t jumping from cakes but eating cakes. As someone who actually eat cakes I can go ahead and say Olivia does not, and is certainly not an expert. JoJo is shocked that Olivia already told Ben she is “falling for him.” Has she never seen this show? Waiting until week 4 to say that is moving pretty slow.
Ben and Jubilee have an actual, heartfelt real moment. I’m impressed, Jubilee is a great person, Ben is just blah. But he stepped up his game.
I think I can do this now- there’s enough girls left where I sort of know things about each of them…the roses go to:
Amanda- single mother of two
Lauren H.- she’s a blonde and also bitchy, and was the chicken in the talent show
Jubilee- everyone should know her by now
Emily- 1/2 of twins
Caila- fellow software salesperson
Jennifer- okay all I know about her is her name and that she doesn’t get a lot of screen time
Leah- I also know nothing about her but her boobs look great in this dress
So #RachelUnemployed and Amber go home. I think with Amber leaving all of the remaining women are the same age or younger than Ben.
Mexico!!! And problems for Jubilee, which I’m not happy about, because I like her. And guess what?! OLIVIA.